Bully? Rebel? Both? ?>

Bully? Rebel? Both?

This article is not an easy one to write. You might notice I have not categorized it as it is not very Joyful. However, I hope to motivate some by the end.

This past weekend I was contacted by one of my favourite people(we will call her Victoria). Victoria works at a very tough, dangerous and thankless job. She is good at it as are many others but like most places of employment, there are always those few, sometimes many, sometimes only one that make it hard for everyone.

When Victoria explained what was happening within her work environment, I thought of 2 words, Rebel and Bully. Victoria and I disagreed on Rebel but were on the same page with Bully. We often think of a Rebel as someone who stands up for their cause however the true meaning is far from complimentary.

Rebel

1. A person who refuses allegiance to, resists, or rises in arms against the government or ruler of his or her country.
2. A person who resists any authority, control, or tradition.
3. Rebellious; defiant.
4. To reject, resist, or rise in arms against one’s government or ruler.
6. To resist or rise against some authority, control, or tradition.
7. To show or feel utter repugnance
Unionized environments get tough when union members don’t believe in the same thing and worse turn on each other. As a kid, I would have called these people, “Meanies”. Today, we call them Bullies
Bully
1. A blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.
2. Archaic. a man hired to do violence.
3. To act the bully toward; intimidate; domineer.
4. To be loudly arrogant and overbearing.

We read about bullying in school children everyday but what about in adults? I have seen some of the strongest people be treated so poorly by co-workers that they require medication for panic attacks, insomnia, depression and worse. The effects of bullying on adults is serious. As adults, we are expected to be strong for our children, our spouses and our aging parents.

Please do not get me wrong, bullying in schools is a very serious problem but not the topic for today’s article.

So, here we are wanting to help our friends, spouses, siblings and coworkers but how?  How do we stop the bullies and rebels from continuing their negative attitudes and behaviour when is sometimes confused with “winning”? I am sorry that I do not have the answer to what stops this once and for all but I can tell you from experience:

  • SOS-Stop Oxygenate Seek information. Some people count to 10 but  for me, I have to:
    • Stop what I am doing before I do or say something I will regret
    • Breath…long, deep breaths. While breathing in think bad thoughts, take a second than exhale as long as you can about what relaxes you(a book, your bed, a massage, long walk, jump in the ocean)
    • Seek Information….what happened, how can we make this work for everyone and most importantly, is this really my problem.

If you find that SOS doesn’t help when you are in these situations, hopefully remembering one of the following will. Print it off, put it in your wallet or purse. In my case, I call “Victoria”, I go for Sushi, I hug Bill, I ask Cathy for a virtual hug or I lay down on the floor and play with my fur babies.

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“Rebel Yell”-Billy Idol

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